Off to School


"Up in the mornin 'and off to school; the teacher is teachin' the golden rule" … Lyrics to the song sung by Chuck Berry in 1959 will soon apply to many households. It will also apply to my household.

I've decided to return to school and get my Diploma of Applied Psychology and Counseling.

I am hiring that my neurons (or is it dendrites?) Will connect in a way to allow me to learn without too much difficulty. What's a neuron? What's a dendrite? I forget. Oh dear, do I have any left? Will they connect? I'll eat more yogurt, bananas, brussel sprouts, and brocoli and other brain food and this will help.

Will not it?

The first thing I did was to apply for a student loan. I called BC Student Aid and a person of about 14 answered the phone. I did my best to cover up my mature woman voice and raised it up an octave or two and nervously squeaked out that I would like to know if I might qualify for a student loan.

He asked a few pertinent questions, one of which was my birth date. Kudos to him, he did not pause very long when he heard the year. His brain calculator started clicking and I could hear him thinking, "Gawd, she's older than my Grandma."

A few weeks later I attended an orientation for the course. The instructor said that the course appeared to a wide variety of people, including those with other degrees who wanted to add to their education.

She pointed out that there were people signed up who were age 24 and up to late 40's in attendance that very evening. I could've hugged her! (oh whew, the dye job and makeup worked.) Keep smiling, so your jowls do not hang down Fawcett) A smile is an instant face lift you see. I do not care if she lied.

The student loan process is definitely interesting. This is the conversation I had with Student Aid BC (hereafter known as SABC) just the other day.

SABC "When you've signed the master agreement form, you have to take it to the post office and it will be processed."
ME: "You mean I'll mail it to you?"
SABC: "No, you take the form to the post office and they process it."
ME: "I take the form to the local post office and THEY process it?"
SABC: "Yes, that's right."
ME: "You mean, I stand in the same line that others line up to buy stamps and have a student loan processed?"
SABC: (sounding annoyed) "Yes, that is what I said."
ME: (in puzzled disbelief) "Oh, really?"
ME: (humor kicked in here) "Kinda like the old west when cowboy Fred, who lives in a dusty one horse town says to his wife Erma, I'm jest gonna go down to the postie office and get me sum money honey. "
SABC: (not laughing, and very dryly) "Yes"
ME: (another attempt at humor, as it looks to be my quest in life to help people laugh) "How would you think it would be more appropriate to do this at a bank. Post Office to have my Student Aid processed. That's kind of like going to the Dentist to have a complete physical is not it? "

SABC: (sounding tired and unamused) "Well, that is how it is done Ma'am."
ME: "okey-dokey."

Anyways, I'll keep you posted. (no pun intended)


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