The Pirates Who Do not Do Anything – Movie Review


Movie Mama Rating: 4 stars out of 5

Starring: Phil Vischer, Mike Nawrocki, Cam Clarke, Yuri Lowenthal (II), Alan Lee

Directed By: Mike Nawrocki

Running Time: 85 min.

MPAA Rating: G

Larry the Cucumber, Pa Grape, and Mr. Lunt have made it to the big screen as their famous roles: "The Pirates Who Do not Do Anything." Sedgewick (Mr. Lunt), George (Pa Grape), and Elliot (Larry the Cucumber) are busboys at a local pirate-themed dinner theater. Sedgewick is lazy and selfish, George is a coward who has lost respect in the eyes of his children, and Elliot has a list ten miles long full of things he's scared of. After these obvious flaws, their all time aspiration is to star in the dinner show. When they audition, however, they're so terrible that they wreck the theater and are fired on the spot. They feel they are destined to be losers forever until they are summoned magically to save a prince and princess from the seventeenth century. A squash-buckling adventure ensues as they battle the evil Robert the Terrible and in the mean time, show kids what being a real hero is all about.

"The Pirates Who Do not Do Anything" does what it set out to do: entertain the little ones. It was refreshing to walk into a theater and see children still sucking on pacifiers able to enjoy the movie-going experience just as we adults do. Films are usually made for us but for once, someone thought about the kids. That's why I gave it four stars. If you're looking for the next brilliant screenplay by Pixar, move along. Just like the Veggie Tales short videos, this film is slow-paced and the humor is spread out, but still very funny. Part of the fun will be to watch your child's reactions as they get to see their favorite characters on the big screen. The animation is bright and colorful, the plot line is predictable (which is just right for the target audience), and the overarching moral is something every parent can get behind. It's just good, clean fun.


The theme of the film is that anyone can be a hero just by doing the right thing. You do not have to be the largest and the best to make a difference in the lives of others.

Princess Eloise and Prince Alexander show respect and love for each other and their father. When speaking about each other, they only say positive and loving things.

There is no crude humor, no bad language, no scary sequences – it's basically a saturday morning cartoon just turned up a notch.




Normally I would not recommend taking children younger than school age to a film, but this is the exception. However, if you want to save some bucks, just wait for the dvd. Kids will love it either way.


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