6 Movies NOT to Watch on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day… So you’ve been lavished by your lover with Valentines Day presents, enjoyed a romantic meal by candlelight together and about to settle down to a romantic movie.

Of course, choosing the right Valentines presents for him and her is important. But if you want a night of romance, it’s just as important to get the movie right on this night of love. Because if you don’t, you can bet your bottom dollar you won’t be getting that “loving feeling.” Snuggling up with your sweetheart, eating chocolates and sipping wine won’t be part of the programme.

Anyone can run out and rent a romantic film starring Julia Roberts for Valentine’s Day. Anyone can stream the latest passion-infused offering from Kate Hudson – or Jennifer Aniston, or Drew Barrymore. Anyone can immerse themselves in Pretty Woman, Bridget Jones’s Diary or Romeo and Juliet.

But it requires real bottle to sit down with that special lady or gent in your life and take one of these hugely unpleasant choices. So without further ado, here are the six most inappropriate movies to watch with someone you love on Valentine’s Day…

6. Titanic (1997). Do each other a favour. Never see a film about two folks who are far more in love than you and your Valentine will ever be. It’s just uncomfortable. Even more uncomfortable than forgetting to give your sweethearts the Valentines Day presents!

5. Deep Blue Sea (1999). This is an extremely bad movie to watch on Valentine’s Day because of its focus on disastrous romances not to mention its generally depressing mood onscreen. It definitely doesn’t create a cheerful atmosphere for the thrumming of heartstrings afterwards. And you may well find yourselves rooting for the sharks to eat the cast.

4. Blue Valentine (2010). Do you really want to watch a film about Dean and Cindy’s failing marriage? This movie paints a sombre, painful portrait of a toxic marriage: two young people fall in love and then they fall out of it. This definitely isn’t a date movie, let alone a movie for February 14th. You have been warned.

3. Irreversible (2002). How about a big helping of misery, followed by a dollop of – you guessed it – more misery? Yeah, “Irreversible” delivers. This film features a continuous nine-minute rape scene. The rest of the movie is, on occasion, just as bad. There’s really nothing more to say about it.

2. Antichrist (2009). Almost any Lars Von Trier flick could make this list, but “Antichrist” tops it. It’s a sure-fire relationship killer, unless you consider watching private parts getting mutilated romantic. Sound nice? No. Not nice. Just truly, truly terrible.

1. Anything 3D. The glasses make you look stupid. Simple as that.

So, the moral of the story: Get the right movie. Get the right presents for Valentines Day. And save the tears.

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